Chores Suck

Though it’s painful to remove one’s teenage fingers from a video game controller after being wrapped around it for 48 hours, I don’t care.  I also don’t care that saving the universe (Starcraft, I curse you!), is a much more important job than washing the dishes or making the bed.  If the universe crashes down around us, I want the furniture dusted, kitchen sparkling and carpets vacuumed.  It doesn’t make any sense, I know. I’m the type of person that likes to clean the house BEFORE the maid comes.  So, sue me.

As a teenager I hated chores, more than most.  I used to promise myself that I’d never make my kids do chores because chores suck and parents who make their kids do chores suck even more, like my mother,

Momma’s elfin-sized body could be tucked into your coat pocket, saving on airfare. Her Peruvian cursing so bloodcurdling, I one time dropped a whole gallon of milk when Mom snuck up behind me, rasping, “Caramba!”, because she cut her finger.

As an R.N., Momma proudly donned her uniform with matching white stockings and clogs, mostly working the graveyard shifts.  Her starched nursing cap cruelly bobby-pinned into her stiffly hair-sprayed brunette Marge Simpson hairdo and chronic insomnia (caused by her daily 50 cups of saccharin-sweetened freeze dried coffee) made her mean as hell. Not doing my chores didn’t make her any nicer either.

Stomping around the house, coal black eyes bulging from square high-cheek-boned face, she’d stop suddenly, dramatically sweeping two fingers across a dusty picture frame (which nobody even looked at anyway).

“Madre de Dios!” she’d screech, showing us her now dusty fingers, “The house ees feelthy dirty!”

“It is?” my siblings and I would ask, completely oblivious to all but dirt clods larger than our heads.

“Mira!” she’d wail, proving her point once again by arbitrarily sweeping her digits across another dust collecting surface, “Carajo!”

To this day, I still don’t know exactly what ‘carajo’ means, but loosely translated we took it to mean, “Clean the house or die”.

As a parent, you have to suck.  If you don’t, it is a proven fact your kids will probably grow up to be homeless drug addicts, politicians, lawyers or, even worse, investment bankers.  Bernie Madoff never did a chore in his life, I guarantee you.

Copyright 2010  Theresa L. Vivanco, All Rights Reserved.

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Integration is defined as:

“To bring together or incorporate into a unified, harmonious, or interrelated whole or system.”

So, when one is composing and/or recording music, one integrates the following parts (which I blogged about earlier) into a cohesive, larger concept or theme:

1. Melody
2. Rhythm
3. Harmony
4. Lyrics
5. Arrangement
6. Instrumentation
7. Song Structure
8. Performance
9. Quality of Recording
10. The Mix

Some songs are more cohesive than others, some become hits because of their lack of stylistic consistency.  The hit 90’s song, “Loser” by Beck seems to defy all classification.  The lyrics are nonsensical and unintelligible but at the same time, hilarious and endearing. Using a blues slide acoustic guitar in a loop (WTH?), Beck raps badly/speaks/sings in English, Spanish (in the chorus: “Soy un perdrador” translated I’m A Loser) and even in German. The drums are repetitious and the recording quality sucks even by ‘90’s standards.  I freaking love that song.  First time I heard it was a pull-the-car-over-to- the-side-of-the-road-and-listen-to-this-craziness moment for me.

The rock band, Rush, often composes their tunes in very strange time signatures when the ‘rule’ is, if you want to be successful, you need to write your songs in common time (4 beats to the measure).  No doubt this group of musicians knew ‘the rule’ but opted to break it often, with great success.

Use my blogs, learn the rules cold then BREAK the rules if it fits what you’re going after.  Don’t be robotic.  Don’t let anybody push you around (John Lennon often stood up to his producer, George Martin, and sometimes he even won) and tell you what’s right or wrong.  If a rule doesn’t fit what you’re going after then don’t use it.  The best artists usually know the rules and also how and when to break them.  Knowingly breaking the rules is often what makes good art GREAT.   On the other hand, don’t go so far in left field that nobody can stand listening to your compositions either.

Starting tomorrow, we’ll go into depth over several blogs on professional mixing.

Happy creating!

Musically yours,

Theresa

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There’s no guarantee the best mix in the world will completely mask a recording’s blatant weaknesses, but it can help.  What a great mix will do, however, is make a strong recording even stronger.    I have mixed many songs which, pre-mix, sounded flat, blah, unexciting with little redeeming aesthetic value. You know you’ve done a great mix, when the recording artist’s jaw drops and they shout excitedly, “Holy cow, that’s my song?”

The next blog  is called The Music Producer and Concept or Theme, Integration of.   After that, I’ll go in depth about professional mixing in different genres, sound waves, compressors/limiters, effects, equalization, noise gates, panning and dynamics—not necessarily in that order.

Be prepared to improve your music and mixes exponentially!

Happy creating!

Musically yours, Theresa

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Back in the mid 90’s when I was living in Frankfurt, Germany, I checked out several local recording studios.  Germans love their technology!  One studio had an impressive array of brand new digital recording equipment.  I was blown away—until I asked one of the engineers to play a song that had been recently recorded on this equipment.  Blah! The stuff they had recorded on old analog equipment sounded a million times better.

Moral of the story?

The latest recording equipment does not necessarily a good recording make.  No doubt, good quality recording equipment is fundamental for excellent recordings—that’s pretty obvious.  But knowing how to use it is critical to the success of any recording project.

It used to be that having the newest, latest bells and whistles was of utmost importance for top quality recording and it probably still is for certain genres. However, young and older engineers alike have come to appreciate the warmer, fuller sound of older analog equipment, especially in the hands of an engineer who knows how to use it alongside decent digital equipment.   Some highly successful rap groups have used relatively ancient analog keyboards to get their unique sounds.

I bet it would surprise most people to know that Grammy Award winning singer/songwriter, Bonnie Raitt, records her vocals on a SM 58 (cost: $100) when she has access to any number of expensive state of the art mikes.  Selecting the best microphone for the job (not necessarily the most expensive) and excellent miking techniques can make or break any recording project.

One thing I’m a stickler for is high end cables. It always kills me when I walk into a studio that has great equipment but cheap-as-hell cables, which is what’s carrying the signal.  It’s like hiring the world’s best jockey and expecting him to win the Kentucky Derby riding a two bit nag—ain’t gonna happen.  Cheap cables are prone to excessive noise and hum.  Unless that’s the sound you’re going for, use the best cables possible.

Quality of Recording depends on:

1. Quality of recording equipment
2. Engineer and/or producer’s knowledge and experience on equipment
3. Equipment and cables in good working order
4. Excellent cable quality
5. The correct microphone for the job
6. Good miking technique

Happy creating!

Musically yours,

Theresa

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Nowadays we have software than can fix imperfect performances.  Pitch problems and slight timing issues can be corrected but they have their limits.  It’s usually cheaper to just nail the performance in the studio than to pay someone to painstakingly fix a mediocre performance with special software programs.

In my experience, the most common performance problem is timing.  Yes, I’m talking to you drummer boy.  Drummers commonly speed up (or less often, slow down) when they do tom rolls.  Unless the drummer is insistent (and trained) on keeping steady time, bands will often speed up at the end of a rocking song.   With variations in tempo so common, I usually insist bands rehearse with a click track for at least a couple of weeks before they come in the studio.   Some musicians don’t want to hear it then end up wasting precious recording time fixing their tempo problems.  Smart bands buckle down, fix their tempo problems and end up pleasantly surprised at the result. Once, I went to see a live band who wanted to work with me.  Their original music was pretty darned good but their timing was AWFUL.  I insisted they spend a couple of months rehearsing with an electronic click track and they did.  They ended up getting a sweet record deal shortly after that with the A&R guy raving about their great timing!  (You’re welcome!)

As an award-winning voice and music teacher, I know how valuable proper voice and musical training is.   In reality, there are few great untrained voices.  Even superstar Christina Aguilara worked with a voice coach in order to develop the upper ranges of her voice so she could sing the song “Reflection” for Disney’s movie, Mulan.  I predicted that because of her limited vocal training, she would one day end up having voice problems.  In 2004 vocal chord injuries compelled her to cancel her 2004 tour.

Musically untrained singers often have a tough time in the music business.  In my opinion, a singer who wants a long lasting career should develop a fundamental knowledge of music theory and should learn to play at least one instrument.  The fabulous singer, Karen Carpenter of The Carpenters, thought of herself primarily as a drummer who sings. Her gorgeous voice and her impeccable sense of timing made her all but impossible to replace after her untimely death from anorexia in 1983.

Every skilled musician works for years to develop and perfect their techniques.  A decent producer has solid fundamental musical knowledge on many common instruments and thus able to bring out the best in a musician’s playing.   Many great songwriters have poor musical or vocal skills—which is where good studio musicians or singers come in handy.  Multi-platinum producers like Mutt Lange are sticklers for musical proficiency with irrefutable results—you can’t have great recordings with sloppy performances.  One of his most successful bands, Def Leppard, often went way over record company budget and deadlines.  Mutt knows to produce great records you must have proficient performances and the millions of records sold proved this point over and over again.

Dynamics are an often overlooked performance value.  Dynamic fluctuations, both vocally and instrumentally, can add much emotional depth to a song.  It’s the producer’s job to ensure that musicians and/or singers build up or bring down their volume where appropriate.

A great producer never lets an inspired performance go even if the recording is slightly imperfect or distorted.  In fact, in some genres, vocal or instrumental distortion can actually add to the emotional impact of the song.  Also I’ve seen what happens when a musician or singer kicks some serious recording butt then are forced to re-record—and it isn’t pretty.  Emotional impact is always, always, always senior to technical perfection. (But it sure is a beautiful thing when you can have both but realistically happens very infrequently.)  In fact, some guitar heroes brag about how a misplayed note in a lead solo was the thing that actually made it stand out!

Performance points a good producer should be looking for:

1. Good timing instrumentally and vocally
2. Solid vocals with proper intonation and timing
3. Overall good technical musicianship
4. Dynamics
5. Inspired performances

Happy creating!

Musically yours,

Theresa

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Since most pop songs are only 3.5 to 4 minutes long, the order and length of song sections—intro, verse, pre-chorus, lead break, bridge and vamp (or coda)—should be carefully scrutinized.  Beware the songwriter who gets carried away with overlong lead breaks or too many verses, though there are some notable exceptions to this.  Check out Arlo Guthrie’s famous hit song, Alice’s Restaurant, over 18 minutes long.  Whoa!

On the other hand, some songs are too short and are screaming for a bridge or pre-chorus.  A good producer will be able to suggest additions or revisions that will make overly long or short songs come alive without damaging the desired emotional impact.

Improving song structure:

1. Make sure your song has enough sections without getting carried away
2. Ditch or shorten song sections that are overly long or add nothing to the final product
3. Lengthen song sections, like the chorus (or ‘hook’), which bear repeating
4. Experiment by changing the order of song sections, for instance, instead of starting with an intro or verse, it’s sometimes effective to start off with a chorus
5. Many producers/songwriters artfully cut a verse or lead solo in half in order to accommodate longer choruses or other important sections

Happy creating, y’all!

Musically yours,

Theresa

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All instruments used in recording should be in good working order.  Don’t slough off a poor drum sound as something the producer/engineer will be able to fix in the mix, for instance.  Poor quality equipment will affect the overall recording.  Beg, borrow or rent a decent set of drums (with new drum heads) if what you’re using is only a half-step above a toy.  If the guitar you’re stuck with is virtually un-tunable, find a decent one somehow, some way.   In fact, find lots of different guitars or hire a studio guitarist with a wide selection of guitars and amps to ensure you get the sound you want on every song—variety is good.

Same thing with your electronic equipment—make sure all amps and cables are in good working condition, no buzzing or shorting out.  You’re just wasting time and money working with inferior equipment.

Become familiar with any keyboard and/or synthesizers you’ll be using.  Make your selection of wild and wacky sounds before you walk into a recording studio, unless you have the budget to burn up tons of expensive studio time.   This is known as pre-production which can end up saving you hundreds if not thousands of dollars in the studio.  As mentioned in earlier posts, choose from a wide range of frequencies and sounds to keep phase cancellation to a minimum.

Your instrumentation check list:

1. Make sure all instruments used in the studio are the highest quality you can reasonably afford
2. Have a wide selection of high quality guitars to choose from
3. Make sure guitar or bass strings are new and the highest quality
4. Make sure drum heads are new and excellent quality
5. Make sure drum cymbals and other drum parts are in good working order—nothing like a cracked cymbal or a worn wing nut to ruin an otherwise good day in the studio
6. Check all cables and amps for unwanted buzzing and shorts
7. Familiarize yourself with all keyboards and/or synthesizers and their sounds before the studio clock starts clicking.
8. Get organized! Take your preproduction time seriously. Buy a notebook and write down the sounds you want on each song and from which instrument.  Don’t rely on memory

Happy creating, y’all!

Musically yours, Theresa

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There are entire books with accompanying music theory courses on arranging.   George Martin, the long time Beatles’ producer, was a musical genius whose arrangements came to define the Fab Four’s sound from 1962-1969.  Though his contributions were universally hailed, sometimes his ideas clashed with the desires of the composer(s).  When John Lennon wrote Long and Winding Road, he wanted a simple acoustic-guitar-driven sound.  When he heard George’s orchestral masterpiece, John flipped out but the arrangement stood. The song became a huge hit, largely because of George Martin’s genius.

Some genres of music scream for a sparse simple sound, some for full blown over the top orchestration.  If you’re going for a full sound, it’s important to work with a producer who has a background in orchestration.  There are certain rules of writing orchestral parts that have stood the test of time and are too complex to go into here.

Instrumentation should not be composed or played in a narrow frequency range, causing phase cancellation.  Although some problems can be straightened out in the mix, it’s better to write parts that won’t cancel each other out, making for a better balance and separation of parts.

Some simple arrangements tips you might want to think about:

1. Double track or triple track parts with the same or different instruments for a fuller sound
2. Compose parts in different frequencies to avoid phase cancellation
3. Weed out arrangements that are too full
4. Add to arrangements that seem too thin
5. Sometimes less is more.  When writing arrangements, it’s important to think of building the music to a climax, instead of hitting the listener across the teeth the whole song
6. Experiment with unusual instruments or percussion that will give your music a unique sound
7. Consider working with a producer who has the knowledge and experience with orchestration and arranging to give your music the best possible chance for success.

Happy creating, y’all!

Musically yours,

Theresa

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If a producer, or any person for that matter, adds even one word to your song then, by law, he owns half of the song. Many successful producers end up taking half songwriting credit for this reason alone.  There’s nothing really the matter with that,  but all songwriters should be aware of what they’re giving away under those circumstances.  A lyricist friend of mine got very upset when a famous singer re-wrote a couple of lines for a formerly instrumental only jazz song he was working on and insisted on a third of the credit.  He changed his tune (forgive the pun) however when I told him that actually, the famous singer deserved half songwriting credit for his contribution.  (And the famous singer’s rewritten lyrics, were in fact, much better.)

Some hit songs have trite, nonsensical lyrics, others have lyrics that are deeply poetic and moving.  Again, the kind of lyrics depends on the genre.

Make sure your lyrics are rhythmically correct. Songs which have too few lyrics often drag unnecessarily. Some tunes have too many lyrics. However, there are hit songs which are crammed full of syllables on purpose, exuding a hectic excited feeling.   In rap, it is extra important to have the right amount of lyrics to fit the music rhythmically.

If you’re a good musician/composer who has a problem coming up with decent lyrics, consider finding a good lyricist who can write in your genre. There’s no shame in it and you might even get a hit song or two out of it.  Just ask Bernie Taupin and Elton John!

Questions to ask for optimum success in lyric-writing:

1. Do lyrics fit the style of music you’re creating?
2. Are there enough lyrics so the song doesn’t drag?
3. Are there too many lyrics crammed in the song?
4. Do the lyrics fit rhythmically?
5. Could a good lyricist help improve your song?

Do everything possible to make your song the best it can be. Carefully study the lyrics in the genre you’re interested in then take the time to fine tune!

Happy creating!

Musically yours, Theresa

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Most people think of harmony as referring solely to vocal harmony.  However, two or more notes played together create chords (or harmony), whether played on guitar or piano or when a horn section or back ground vocals play/sing different notes simultaneously.  Chords can be ‘consonant’ (pleasing to the ear using only notes in the chord) or dissonant (jarring or tense using notes outside the basic chord structure), depending on the type of music and what kind of emotional impact the artist is trying to create.

The iconic, highly successful ’60’s band, The Mammas and The Poppas, created consonant music with pristine vocal harmony and clever arrangements (more on arrangements later).   Many, many bands have created their signature sounds working with highly structured, intricate harmonies.  The ‘70’s band, Steely Dan, created their unique pop jazz sound by intertwining jazzy instrumental harmony with witty, often dense vocal harmonies and unique lyrics.

The way vocal and instrumental harmonies are used can define an artist’s sound, positively or negatively.  A good producer can transform a simple three chord rock song into a masterpiece by using clever harmonic arrangements.

Generally, the denser the vocal harmony (or rhythm), the simpler or more ‘open’ the instrumental chord structure.  The guitar player for The Police, Andy Summers, knew this inherently.  His guitar playing is/was sparse and chord structure more ‘open’ for a wonderful contrast to the highly complex drumming of Steward Copeland.   Again, there are many exceptions to this ‘rule’ and comes down to taste and the genre of music you are going after.

A summary of the above points on harmony:

1. Hire a music producer who knows theory and can give you the appropriate guidance on harmonic structure, whether vocally or instrumentally:
   • for mellow kind of music, harmony should be consonant
   • for harder genres (like heavy metal), look for a producer who knows how to use vocal and/or instrumental harmony  to create tension.
2. Generally, the more complex the harmonic structure vocally, the simpler and less dense the instrumental harmony (chords) and vice versa.
3. Don’t over do vocal harmonies.  Generally speaking, a little goes a long, long way but there ARE exceptions to this—just know what you’re going after and remember point 2, above.
4. Experiment with variations on instrumental harmony.  The Allman Brothers band loved guitar harmonies on their lead solos, which gave them a unique sound.  These boys knew exactly what they were going after and are still one of The Baby Boomer’s favorite bands for a reason!  Rock on!

Know before you go.  Beware of lazy producers who don’t want to do extensive listening ‘homework’ in your musical genre.  Music producers should be passionate about you’re trying to accomplish or you should hire somebody else.

Happy creating!

Musically yours,

Theresa

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